Apr 12, 2011

Let's start of with a big one! (Dicking around Age 2)

C'mon, let's use our expressionless faces and stare them to death (i.e. THE ONLY ONE WE HAVE)




Fucking shit, I don't even know where to begin with this one. The reason that I chose this creation of hell to kick off my blog with is because it is a game that I've played recently, and because it pissed me off more that games usually do.

If you've played Dragon Age: Origins then you know what's up. Basically there's some bad shit going down in Ferelden (the place you get to explore, if you play DA:O that is). Every now and then something that's called a "blight" occur. They don't tell you much about this but you understand pretty quick that blights suck major balls.

Now I know what you're thinking, and I thought the same thing when playing DA. "Blight, what the hell?". I actually googled it now out of curiousity. The almighty wikipedia said:

"Blight refers to a specific symptom affecting plants in response to infection by a pathogenic organism."

I stopped reading here because this is clearly NOT what's happening. I tried to alter wiki to the more correct explanation "Some monsters go apeshit and kills everything in sight." but apparently someone else knows better than me. That fucker.

Anyways, back to the game! Where as DA:O's main plot is the blight and saving the world and shit Dragon Shit 2 kind of forgets about the whole "monsters go apeshit" ordeal. I'm a couple of hours into the game (don't ask me how many, I'd like to forget the time I wasted) and besides the hoards of monsters I slayed in the beginning the blight seems to be as much of a problem to the characters ingame as random slaughtering in the middle of the street (which seems to be perfectly normal).

So you run around Kirkwall (the most boring fucking place on earth) doing random shit while the story progresses a couple of years. Fuck the blight ruining the world, we have it good as it is here in good ol' Kirkwall. This is basically all the story that I have after several hours of gametime.

Now onto the mechanics. Let's get some things straight first, I loved the first DA. It was epic shit flowing through my mouse and into my body. Dick Age 2 seems to do it best to shatter every expectation I had on it. I can not think of a SINGLE mechanic that Fuck Shit 2 does better than DA:O. Being a sequel, you can see why that's something negative. The characters suck. The voice acting is pure shit aswell. YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT I CAN ONLY PLAY AS A HUMAN BECAUSE OF THIS GARBAGE?!

List of things that Puke Age 2 did horrible:

*Voices
*The conversation wheel
*Races
*Mages
*General gameplay
*surroundings
*EVERTHING JESUS SHIT WTF IS THIS

I'll stop now because I can go on forever. Fuck this game, fuck Bioware for selling their souls to EA. Fuck the santa claus, fuck action gamers for ruining the sequel to the BEST RPG EVER.

Crap...

16 comments:

  1. I played origins and really enjoyed it, played through twice as different characters and it was even better the second time. BUTTTT I didn't even bother with this one, just looked bad. Nice blog man keep it up!

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  2. Hehe...i played origins and i liked it but the expansions and the dlc were so bad that i just gave up on everything.

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  3. I have to disagree with you on the voices. I thought they were the best part of the entire game. Everything else... dumb. They should have just called it "Mass Effect: Dragon Edition"

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  4. This is by-far my favorite review for this game.

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  5. I have played the 1st one but have yet to play the 2nd.

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  6. Thanks a lot for all the input guys!

    @Betterbutterscotch

    It wasn't the voices that were bad, but the dialogue. You were always given such stupid options and sometimes the character says something that doesnt agree with the text you chose.

    I'll be back with more rage!

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  7. looks like a good game hope you are enjoying it

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  8. awesome blog. i got a friend who goes through a ps3 controller every4-6 weeks due to game rage. i don't have the heart to tell him he's just shit..
    +1

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  9. Nice post... :) I'm following you

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