Apr 17, 2011

A chef, laser guns, aliens and multiplayer. It's Gaylo

Did the helmet design come from ski goggles perhaps?

If there's a review that I'll get criticized for it's gonna be this one. Not because Halo is a very liked game in general (god knows why) but because I actually haven't played it that much. I'm sure there's things that I'm going to miss but guess what, I don't give a shit.

First things first, what the shit is Halo all about? From what I've understood you're "Master Chief", a pretty much speechless, faceless spartan (no, not the half naked cool ones). To say that he's completely speechless would be a lie though. He actually coughs up FOUR minutes of dialog TOTAL during the first 3 games, putting him at a strong second place after Gordon Freeman (world famous mute professional, Half-Life series) when it comes to not talking.

What is a "Master Chief" anyway? Since I know you're all lazy bastards I took time to google it. Guess what, it's a group of titles in the U.S Navy, coast guard and so on. I don't know about you but I've never seen any fucking submarines in the Halo games. It would've been better if they called him Master Chef and made a cooking adventure game where you have to protect a giant fruit cake from ants or something.

I use ants in my game idea (which probably would be better than the original) is because it has come to my knowledge that in the Halo games you fight against some sort of aliens. How I know this is a question in itself, because I've never actually played the campaigns. And that's because NO ONE EVER plays the campaigns except for once when the game is released and then once more on Legendary mode to boost their bragging rights amongst their friends. When the campaign has been blasted through (people have gone through Halo 3 on legendary in less than 3 hours) multiplayer is all that you have left.

Why Halo became so popular I will never know. From my experience when playing with friends it's basically Battlefield in the future, but less people and just worse. I'd say it became popular because it was one of the first decent console FPS games, then people just rolled with it because it was the best they had. As a PC gamer I've always had a huge library when it comes to MP shooters. I can't really see whats so appealing to the MP either. You just run around and shoot people. As with Counter Strike this is pretty fun to do with your friends once in a while, but I can't see how people actually find it funny to do by them selves online.

This is pretty much all I can say about the games, because I haven't played much more than this. Fun for more than 30 minutes? I think not.


  1. I never really got into the Halo series. He looks like the doom guy with more armor =/

  2. Yeah it's interesting why a relatively generic concept ballooned to such high popularity but maybe cause it's...fun? lol

  3. Don't forget about the girl from Portal. She doesn't say a word in Portal 1 or 2. P.S. I'm starting to post my Portal 2 Speed Clear.. Check it out.