Apr 13, 2011

Need for Suck My Balls

No, I don't know why the fuck "police" is spelled backwards.


I'm not going to go berzerk on NFS  right away. Like most sane human beings I actually used to like the series. I have a vague memory of playing Need for Speed 2 when I was a little kid, but we don't have time for that nostalgic shit. So why did I even like NFS in the first place? My first experience was actually with the best game of the series, Most Wanted. I'm not saying that it's the best just because it happened to be the first one I really played but because that it's just fact. If you don't think so then you're wrong and could have one of several brain disorders, e.g Downs.

NFS didn't go straight from the best game of the series to utter and worthless crap. They actually put "Carbon" in between, which was a pretty good game. It did some things a bit better than MW and some things a bit worse. Simply put, I had fun with it and that's what matters.

What happened now you ask? The short version is that they released NFS: Procrap, NFS: Underdowns and then NFS: Shit in quick succession. Here are some refreshers (if you weren't lucky enough not to have played them).

Need for Speed: Profuck
NFS became a huge success with its fast paced and hardly legal street racing. So what the shit do you think the fuckers did? Nothing radical really, they just REMOVED everything that people enjoyed from MW and Carbon and made it more of a track racing game. And they even had the nerves to call it proSTREET. Fuck you! When the best part of a car game is the smoke comming from your tires then you know it's gonna suck major rotten balls.

Need for Speed: Underdog
I'm calling this one underdog because after the shit stain Smokestreet this next game had to hit the audience from below and take us by surprise. Too bad it slipped and crushed its own face against the floor. Blundercover tried to go back to what made MW so good, but needless to say it didn't quite make it. Still, it was better than Probullshit.

Need for Speed: Shit
Now I don't know what the fuck they were thinking, but after undercover some retard thought that maybe track racing was the right way to go after all! Well guess what, it all went to hell once again. Shift was even worse than Prostreet! Motherfuck that's bad...

But we can't end the story there now could we? Where's the happy ending? To bad, we got Hot Piece of Shit 2010 instead. I wrote the "2010" at the end because EA clearly had a problem finding the number "3" on their keyboards. The only reason that I even started the game more than once was because you could play as a police which was a bit new to me so I had to check it out. What do you know, that sucked shitty dix as well!
I haven't even bothered to download Shift 2 because NFS is on a spiraling course straight to the deepest pits of hell.

Just writing all this and remembering it all pissed me off.

9 comments:

  1. Haha they are mass producing these games like mad so they are losing true content.

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  2. most wanted 2 was the best need for speed of all time

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  3. man need fr speed is crap, never liked any of them

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  4. All NFS games after underground are shit.

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  5. Police is spelled backwards so people can read it in their rear view mirrors, same as on ambulance and similar

    good post tho :D

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  6. nice ' review' man :) great blog idea, keep it up!

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  7. NFS: Underground 1,2 was dope.
    After that they went apeshit and ruined the series.

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